4am mindset

It's a winter day, cool and misty, dark and quiet.  This is Manhattan Beach... Well, MY Manhattan beach.  This is my time in my new city doing what I want and no one is bothering me or asking me to hang.  At this moment none of my friends have improv or music shows that Facebook is reminding me about.  I have no invites in the next 3 hours to happy hour.  There are no women to go on dates with.  I'm not wasting money and I'm not wasting time.  It's 4:15 am...

A beautiful Moon-set where it all began, 26th and The Strand.

As a high schooler and beyond I remember very clearly my mom's waking patterns.  By the time she was waking me up for 7:45 am class at 7:20 am with a glass of water to the face she had already gone to the gym, done a load of laundry, gotten her fix of Matt Lauer and Katie Couric on The Today Show, shoveled the driveway (on a winter day) and left me breakfast on my car running in the driveway.  I had no idea (and honestly still don't) why she ever started this pattern of getting up at 4:30 am but I used to think it was bat-shit crazy.  I have gone through patterns of being an early riser all of which were extremely unconscious.  While playing for my Junior hockey team in Billings, MT we would often have practice at 7, meaning driving from the west end we would have to be out of the house by 5:45 in order to be on the ice on time.  While working at the Gasper farm in Crookston, MN I was in charge of pulling the airplanes out of the hangar and having them fueled prior to sunrise which required me in the month of the summer solstice to be out of the house at 4:15 am.  At St. Olaf I enjoyed a strong cup of coffee at 630 am in my dorm room and as I walked to the caf to get there when it opened at 7 am in order to get to my 8 am O-Chem class "fresh" and ready.  On my ICU rotation at Regions I had to have patients worked up and ready for rounds by 7 which meant I was up late the night before and woke up at 5:30 to afford time to eat on my drive in and re-work patients with overnight changes.  So I've done the early thing... for reasons determined by others.  This is different.  This is me. This is what I want to do with my time and no one controls it but me...

...Of all places to decide to change your lifestyle to waking up this early on a daily basis mine happened between the hours of 10pm and 1am at the bar in the hockey rink I play men's league at on Wednesday nights.  My buddy Joe had turned a corner.  Sometime in the year of 2014 he had quietly and humbly quit drinking, became more conscious of the food he was eating, and most importantly to me (and this blog post) had decided that he was going to follow many other leaders and effective people and became an early riser.  At first the guys on our team were a little thrown off by the steadfastness of his new devotion and enjoyed ribbing him about not having the customary beer following each game... I was intrigued.  Here's what he has to say about it:

"Why did I start getting up at 4am? Because it was hard to do. That's the simple answer. I wanted to set a new tone in my life, and doing the same old things the same old ways wasn't going to help me become who I wanted to be... There is something really powerful about finding pleasure in discomfort. When you can count on yourself to do what's hard, it becomes very empowering. You build self-confidence, but most importantly, you begin to take accountability in your life. You realize that you're not what you were born with... Doing what was hard, turned into taking accountability for my own success and enjoyment in life. Accountability turned into taking massive action to achieve my goals. I learned how to change and grow."

Now, I haven't even at this moment decided what my definition of success is, and honestly don't give any of the fucks about that word.  What I did know when talking with Joe about the possibility of shifting my schedule and his new consciousness is that I did want to be more aware of the constraints on my time and how I was being distracted from the things I wanted to be doing on a daily basis.  I wanted to make sure that my FOMO in the evenings wasn't affecting my ability to accomplish personal growth, awareness, and enjoyment.  So while I don't care about "success" or any of the other arbitrary and relative terms to describe my life, I do care about discovering myself.  I want to focus on, without distraction, what all aspects and descriptors of life mean to me and be more aware of how I want to shape my life every day moving forward.  
February 2015 was when Joe and I started meeting at the 26th street pull up bars on the Strand in Manhattan Beach between 4:30 and 4:45 am and would do a simple 20 minute jog, a few push-ups, pull-ups, and sit-ups.  This was not a routine grounded in physical fitness, this was all about accountability.  I had a new-found accountability for what we both knew we desired in the future and present and helping each other develop the habit.  I had vocalized a developmental desire of mine to another human that could call me out on my inability to follow through and that was terrifying.  So I followed through.  That routine lasted a good month and it changed my trajectory for the next year of my life and hopefully beyond.


I managed to continue doing my 4:30 routine at least 2 days a week for the past year and am currently on a 4 out of 5 weekday schedule (I allow myself to sleep in until 6:30 on mornings after late night hockey).  Now that I have moved to West LA the routine has changed slightly.  I no longer run along the beach to the sound of ocean waves... but I now know that I don't need any specific environment to do what I need and want because I've taken the time to truly discover what I need and want.  I enjoy my 20 burpies, a quick headstand, and a Bulletproof coffee (coffee with butter and coconut oil... don't ask, I'll talk about it later).  Because of living within walking distance of work, and waking up at 4:30, I have been able to intensify other pursuits like meditating, reading more, and writing this blog. Most importantly this routine has helped me reset my intentions and it reminds me how privileged I am to pick and choose when I am comfortable and when I am not.  I fully understand that not everyone has those sorts of choices (or has the perception they don't) and that I am currently (and for most/all of my life) extremely privileged in this sense. I also know that the world may not always allow these decisions to come so easily.  If you hear what Joe is saying above you will realize that doing great things and getting out of the grind and growing into consciousness is never easy and there's always an excuse not to.  Now that I have found it, a wish for myself in the future is that no matter what job I have or family structure I find myself in that I am able to each each day find time to reflect, reset and remain conscious of my own enjoyment.

Sunrise over Griffith Observatory with Joe (pictured), Dave, and Torrey 

Talk soon,
Michael